Former Magazine Editor Gifts

Nation of Has-Beens (and Never-Will-Bes)

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Squeezing the Free Press.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

First Novels.

Reading my Critics

Punctuation Police

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Someone who knows apostrophes

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

The Style of Elements

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Press Freedom

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Gay Times...