Former Executive Pillows

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Leadership suits you

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

Happy Retirement

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"So I gave her the 2-diamond love-and-BFFF ring and she grave me a big kiss, sold it, and went on a cruise. That's bad, right?!"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

"Let me level with you. I am a lecherous, incompetent, alcoholic, overpaid, sexist senior executive. The company has put me in your way to test your countervailing potential."

'Look, I want you back, but I'm not going to beg.'

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

"People Change"

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

"I'm not a vindictive person, Charles. When your chickens do come home to roost I hope they're free range chickens."

Generation Ex.

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

'Your ex is calling. Her investment club bought 51 of the company, and you're fired!'

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

Revenge Graffiti.

'Darling, this is my ex. You know, the one I said you were twice the man of.'