Former Partner Pillows

"I know we're not dating anymore, but I thought you should know I have termites."

"Hello? ...Hello? Baldo? Is that you?"

"Your solicitor and my solicitor have got together, and agreed that you can still do my laundry."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Come dine with me!

"Ahhh... close enough."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

You're my Mona Lisa.

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Larry's used art

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

The Busy Gardener

Polly txt speak

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Police Feline Unit

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'