Formal Communication Aficionado Gifts

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

Complaints departement for men and women.

"OK Hunter. Go join the 'non-verbal criticism skills' seminar!"

"When you put it like that, it makes complete sense."

'When you approach a customer, don't have your hands in your pockets.'

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

"I don't mind getting email from you, Stevens. But don't ever send me another smiley-face emoji."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

The speech is ethical. One source is plagiarism, two is research.

Bureaucratic castle

'The problem is, you say no problem.'

Computer Address Book.

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

"In this corporation, Mr. Taylor, at this level we do not do shirtsleeves."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Head office says that transparency in communicating internally and with clients is of paramount importance..."

"Your apology rings hollow. Let's try it again, without the attitude."

'Rudolph, I've reason to believe that you're moonlighting for a mobile phone company.'

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

'Todd... I just feel like you're never here for me!'

"Is this in case the electric grid goes down and we can't text or tweet?"

Boss hands over document: 'There are too many abbreviations in your report ? can you rewrite it asap?'

Penfriend

'If you don't mind, I'm trying to use the telephone here.'

"She started it."

'It's the latest invention. Texted smoke signals.'

Luckily for Sarah, her training had included a unit on detecting signs of negative body language.

'Hi, it's me, my therapist said I should communicate more...'

"This is Ms. Watkins, a vital member of our greet staff."

'I can't read this, you must write more clearly.' - 'If I did that, you'd see all my spelling mistakes.'

"This concludes my lecture on non-verbal communication. Any comments or questions?"