Formal Affair Lover Pillows

Transylvanian Embassy - Black Tie Reception

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

Champagne Charlie.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"Damn it, Hopkins, didn't you get yesterday's memo?"

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

"I'll tell you what he's got that we haven't - a bigger leaf!"

"I don't mind getting email from you, Stevens. But don't ever send me another smiley-face emoji."

"It's bedtime, Roger. Loosen your tie."

"Legs up to here!"

Man Flap

"In this corporation, Mr. Taylor, at this level we do not do shirtsleeves."

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

Bureaucratic castle

Rob and Maria dated for months, until the day he realized she was made entirely out of soy.

Tuxedo company.

101 Positions/101 Excuses

'...and seven years ago I donated one of my kidneys to him. I want it back.'

'Is that your wife's anniversary present?' - 'Yes, it's an annual report on our marriage.'

"Uh-oh. I think they're having a Bryn Mawr moment."

A penguin conductor

"I don't mind the dressing up... it's the way they serve the food that irks me."

Sign on desk reads: 'Business spoken here.'

Dress Code

"Please don't work late ronight. I want time to have sex, eat you, and then go to bed at a reasonable hour."

'I offered to help with your tie, but oh no, you had to do it yourself...'

Gents

Yes, I always keep a good cigar. Why don't you smoke 'em?

"Oh dear, I'm terrible with names."

'I declare this envelope...open!'