Formal Affair Lover Gifts

Transylvanian Embassy - Black Tie Reception

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

Champagne Charlie.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"Damn it, Hopkins, didn't you get yesterday's memo?"

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"Legs up to here!"

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

"I don't mind getting email from you, Stevens. But don't ever send me another smiley-face emoji."

"I'll tell you what he's got that we haven't - a bigger leaf!"

"It's bedtime, Roger. Loosen your tie."

Man Flap

"In this corporation, Mr. Taylor, at this level we do not do shirtsleeves."

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

Bureaucratic castle

Rob and Maria dated for months, until the day he realized she was made entirely out of soy.

Tuxedo company.

101 Positions/101 Excuses

'...and seven years ago I donated one of my kidneys to him. I want it back.'

A penguin conductor

Sign on desk reads: 'Business spoken here.'

"I don't mind the dressing up... it's the way they serve the food that irks me."

It would be unfair of me to sleep with you to get even with my ex-boyfriend for sleeping with his ex-girlfriend. Life is unfair. Thank goodness!

'Is that your wife's anniversary present?' - 'Yes, it's an annual report on our marriage.'

"Uh-oh. I think they're having a Bryn Mawr moment."

Dress Code

"Oh dear, I'm terrible with names."

Gents

'I offered to help with your tie, but oh no, you had to do it yourself...'

"What? Tux wasn't ready."

"Please don't work late ronight. I want time to have sex, eat you, and then go to bed at a reasonable hour."

Yes, I always keep a good cigar. Why don't you smoke 'em?