Forgetful Reptile Fan Pillows

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm gonna be late for dinner."

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Crocodile

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

The Monitor is going to sleep.

Snake Eyes

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

Danth battle?

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

Newborn bird sees tortoise and starts wearing shell.

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."