Forgetful Foodie T-Shirts

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

HELLth Food Sprouts

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

'My French is not so good.'

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'Fruitcake, pfefferneusse, we'd like you to consider early retirement.'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

'Village store and Food museum'

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

Me On A Diet: "I should not be eating this!"

'You would forget the doggie bag!'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."

'Do you have a royalty card?'

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

"It's horrible. Well, I share my food...on social media."

Man faced with a fridge full of food can't find the dinner left for him by his wife

The consequences of eating junk food.

"I've added some dehydrated non-vegetable oil sulphites so it's more like mum used to make."

A man's instant camera picture falls into his soup.

'Can I get some carmelized onions on that omelet?'

"Do you remember when food had food in it?"

Before burgers mattered