Forget-me-not Joker Pillows

"Oh my God, we forgot to bring the animals."

Night of the Latkes

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

'I've got it written down...'

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

Ice-Cube-IV

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Santa Claws...

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

'It's her signature dish.'

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

Jesus falling over a wave.

Centaur becomes pantomime horse

Skiing

Of course, then there was Lester, the brown-nosed reindeer.

'When you said we were having a turkey for Christmas dinner I didn't think you meant your Uncle George!'

Popular methods for getting the check

'Better than fresh - everything is irradiated.'

'If you are a good boy, Santa will bring you the tires next year.'

"Santa's favorites always end up in the gift card workshop."

Santa's Sleigh Accident