Forget-me-not Joker Gifts

"Oh my God, we forgot to bring the animals."

Night of the Latkes

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

'I've got it written down...'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

Ice-Cube-IV

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Santa Claws...

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

Virgin Olive Oil. Not-Virgin-But-Has-A-Heart-Of-Gold Olive Oil.

Old Chipmunk. Now where the heck did I put those nuts?

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

'It's her signature dish.'

Jesus falling over a wave.

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

Centaur becomes pantomime horse

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

Of course, then there was Lester, the brown-nosed reindeer.

Skiing

'If you are a good boy, Santa will bring you the tires next year.'

Popular methods for getting the check

'Better than fresh - everything is irradiated.'

Santa's Sleigh Accident

"Santa's favorites always end up in the gift card workshop."

Rudolph Red Light District

'When you said we were having a turkey for Christmas dinner I didn't think you meant your Uncle George!'