Forgery Fanatic Gifts

Frenchy Fries, one of the world's greatest art forgers

"That's the great thing about art, even a second-rate forgery like this can brighten up a room."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'I like the frame.'

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

Tortured Plank

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

A man swinging upside down by his legs on a scaffolding frame.

Fingers

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

Swords for Making America Great Again

"Actually, would you mind turning and shooting at 7 paces? Any more and you'll walk out of frame for my YouTube video."

"But is it..?"

Businessman fences with three others.

"It seems I'm having some credibility issues."

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"Painting was her love, but framing was her passion."

"Binaldi, Ravaccio, Dellacorte... and that's just the frames."

"While registering online, little Ahab had confused fencing and flensing,"

"You're wasting your time, Dad. I learned in day care a cow jumped over the moon."

Artists without borders.

'Well... the frame is nice.'

"The ad was a typo. We're looking for an expert in fingerprinting...not finger painting."

Caution Fragile

"Try not to loft the ball so much.'

"They said you'd be challenging."

'Oh, we're just here so Rusty can shop around for a new fence to dig under.'

'I can't stand the first page...so black and white!'