Forger T-Shirts

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"You're watching history in the making."

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

For some reason, Carl Jones was to fail in his career as an international counterfeiter.

'I am the prison artist in residence, I'm doing time for forgery.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Zorro as a child.

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'Your future looks charming.'

"I think the milk's off!"

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

Man in office fencing with pieces of paper flying about

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

"It's a forgery, alright! And by the looks of it... a fairly recent one."

'Maybe I should use the nine iron.'

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

'Great news Marcel! Proof that it's a genuine Leonardo!'

Frenchy Fries, one of the world's greatest art forgers

'I suspect, Madam, that this Van Gogh is a forgery.'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

'Hank, I know you're new at turkey hunting, but that isn't the way you call turkeys.'

Fencing Venn Graph

Pizza Fencing

Artist Uses Fencing Skills To Create Abstract Pieces

'Don't think its a coincidence that the chocolate is in the back and the fruits are in the front.'

'I believe you want some fencing done at the bottom of your garden?'

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

Fencing Acupuncture.

"Let's have the cod. It'll be extinct soon."

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

"…Ok, tough guy, see this scar? Prius hit me—didn’t even hear it coming." "I got that beat. Right here: three-year-old woke me from a nap with a fork."

Dieter sees 'Enter at own risk' sign on refrigerator