Forger T-Shirts

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"You're watching history in the making."

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

For some reason, Carl Jones was to fail in his career as an international counterfeiter.

'I am the prison artist in residence, I'm doing time for forgery.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'Your future looks charming.'

"I think the milk's off!"

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

Man in office fencing with pieces of paper flying about

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

"It's a forgery, alright! And by the looks of it... a fairly recent one."

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

'Maybe I should use the nine iron.'

'Great news Marcel! Proof that it's a genuine Leonardo!'

Frenchy Fries, one of the world's greatest art forgers

'I suspect, Madam, that this Van Gogh is a forgery.'

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

Fencing Venn Graph

'Hank, I know you're new at turkey hunting, but that isn't the way you call turkeys.'

Pizza Fencing

Artist Uses Fencing Skills To Create Abstract Pieces

'Don't think its a coincidence that the chocolate is in the back and the fruits are in the front.'

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

'I believe you want some fencing done at the bottom of your garden?'

"Let's have the cod. It'll be extinct soon."

Fencing Acupuncture.

Dieter sees 'Enter at own risk' sign on refrigerator

"…Ok, tough guy, see this scar? Prius hit me—didn’t even hear it coming." "I got that beat. Right here: three-year-old woke me from a nap with a fork."

'He's a lousy horseshoer and he's ruining your horse's feet,...

'Are you still sure the pen is mightier than the sword?'

"Perhaps you forget, you told me to be more assertive!"