Forecasting Fun Gifts

'The recurring poor enrollment prognostications plays havoc with our school district's budget. What will next year's enrolment be.'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

Pessimists v Optimists.

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

What will happen in the world

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

'Exactly what the forecast on telly.'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."