Forecasting Fan Gifts

'I remember when tea leaves were the state-of-the-art method of forecasting.'

Weather forecaster

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

'We've certainly come a long way from just a twenty per cent chance of precipitation in the form of snow.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"I'm not happy about what the economists are predicting."

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

"I don't like the look of this."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#^* arm.

'As you can clearly see, our profits continue to climb well into the third quarter.'

Starvation Watching

Caliologist

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

In addition to dusting crops, McWit now rotates them.

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

"And these projections are based solidly on hope, crossed fingers, and fear."

Age-salary ratio

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

"Get ready for a prolonged buzzard of negative ads, snow jobs of epic proportions and massive floods of misleading extremism!"

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."

A Cumulonim-bus

Weather forecast.

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

Cost of Terror.

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

"No, no, the way you're shifting your papers - it's all wrong."