For My Little Brother Gifts

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"Young Frankenstein"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Director/Action Man toy.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

High security Santa's grotto

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

'They're dog roses!'

"Recess does things to a man."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

'Check out the old dude.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

Timpani.

Yes, That Was The Exit

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

'They don't make cars like they used to.'

Kid blowing bubble takes off.

Imagination