For My Little Brother T-Shirts

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"Young Frankenstein"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

Director/Action Man toy.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

High security Santa's grotto

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

'They're dog roses!'

"Recess does things to a man."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

'Check out the old dude.'

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

Yes, That Was The Exit

Timpani.

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

Kid blowing bubble takes off.

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

Imagination

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism