For A Parent With A Soft Spot For Pets Pillows

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Dogs all across town saw fit to teach their owners a little empathy...

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

I can't afford to pay for Fluffy's spay...

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

"You stop it, now!"

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

Zen Kitten

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"Do you think those sounds they make are some primitive attempt to communicate with each other?"

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

Balding dog

"It just comes naturally. I have good people skills."

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

'I'll call you back, we just got in a load of furniture.'

No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?

Dog responding to his master doing a crossword.

"Yep, that's water retention."

Bad Dog

The Man Who Could Talk To Dogs

"I bark, therefore I am."

'Tell you what. Let's corner a cat and play 'good dog - bad dog'.'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

Mouse guillotining cats paws which come through his mouse hole

'Relax... breathe... visualize you inner dog treat...'

101 uses of a dead cat: wind vane.

Toddler sharing dog food

"He's part bok choy."