Parent Who Adores Pets Pillows

"He's part bok choy."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Pet Entertainers

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'He's hoping to get out on appeal.'

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

I can't afford to pay for Fluffy's spay...

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

The Upholstery Consultant

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

'In the future you will address me as 'Your Royal Highness'.'

"Do you think those sounds they make are some primitive attempt to communicate with each other?"

Autumn Dog

Cat Show: Most Arrogant

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

Balding dog

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

"It just comes naturally. I have good people skills."

'I'll call you back, we just got in a load of furniture.'

"Next time, don't rake with the dogs."

Dog responding to his master doing a crossword.

'No doubt about it - he'd make a lovely Home Guard dog!'

Cat watching plug sockets.

'Coming through a pet door isn't as easy as it looks.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?

Every Dog Has His Day

"I understand everything he says, but I've found that maintaining a blank expression results in less work."