Foosball Gifts

'Apparently it has anti-cheating software installed.'

"You can always tell which guys aren't trapped in long-term contracts."

Foosball game with real life players.

Two chefs playing foosball using rotisserie chickens.

"We've made some adjustments for social distancing."

"Yes, you'll probably need to go to an elite university if you want to be able to play foosball at work."

Gender Rivalry

'Hey, Mike. Come here a minute.'

'Better get used to player rotation!'

"There's always a prima donna."

"There's always a prima donna."

He hasn't know what to do with himself since he retired from foosball.

Foosball, 2020 version.

Foosball: Youth soccer version.

"Hey! Laywer! These things keep flipping on their own!"

Two robots are playing table football.

L.A.: Still No Pro Football

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Honestly sometimes I'd like to pretend I don't know you!"

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

'Irwin! Get your elbow up!...Good! Now twirl the bat, lift your foot up, put one hand on top of your helmet, stick out your tongue and hop like a rabbit.'

'I think we'll have to call the fire brigade again.'

"This place has the best vegan nachos!"

'The special today is scraps.'

'Remember when we used to call them Wallflowers? The new term is Mingleberries.'

I'm with stupid.

'Now say cheese,no,not YOU!'

'Can you recommend something pronounceable?'