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And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"It was either the knish in Coney Island, the cannoli in Little Italy, or that divinity fudge in Westchester."

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do count against your diet.

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You owe me five bucks."

Try to guess the continent dining...

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

Before/After

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'Is this still America?'

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

Tzatzikicicle

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."