Foodie Texter Gifts

'I sent out for everything.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"You do like octopus?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

What the Doctor Ordered

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Fast food. Even faster food

Dinner at the Trapdoors

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Night of the Latkes

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'He made an excellent jelly.'