Foodie Satire Enthusiast T-Shirts

Fish & chips in newspaper of the year.

Lockdown casserole

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Beef Stew.

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

Murderous Chef

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

The real reason salad aids weight loss

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

"There's a little jelly or something on your chin."

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

"May your year be pear-fect."

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

'Of course this is the freshest free range steak, sir! You can even see the tyre tracks on it!'

"Every night it's Roll Play with you."

'Why do they let us see things like that?'

Be aware of what your food is up to: protect yourself against snack attacks.

Where 'Stewed Tomatoes' come from.

Suicidal Sheep: '101 Ways with Mint Sauce.'

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'