Foodie Humbug Gifts

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

'Are you sure this is a good restaurant, Frank?'

''Catch of the day' is anyone who tries to leave without paying.'

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

'A medium pizza, please...with anchovies on just one side!'

"How was the food sir?"

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

'Let's get some lunch in here. I don't trust my gut instincts on an empty stomach.'

'I can see... two all beef paddies, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'I hope it's a taste test. There are no right or wrong answers on a taste test.'

'It happens every time I eat bacon - I immediately develop this large rasher on my chest, doc.'

Watching health food cooking shows makes me hungry. Let's go grab some fast food.

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

Obese kid in nursery.

"...and here's some I made earlier..."

'The house wine sir.'

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

"Our view is if it isn't made in a factory, it's organic."

"....My wife and I are strict humanitarians."

"My aged cheddar died!"

Welcome at the Healthful Restaurant. We allow neither cholesterol, GM food, colourings, dust nor guests.