Foodie Humbug Pillows

"You really shouldn't judge people."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

''Catch of the day' is anyone who tries to leave without paying.'

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

'Are you sure this is a good restaurant, Frank?'

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

'A medium pizza, please...with anchovies on just one side!'

"How was the food sir?"

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

'Let's get some lunch in here. I don't trust my gut instincts on an empty stomach.'

'It happens every time I eat bacon - I immediately develop this large rasher on my chest, doc.'

'I can see... two all beef paddies, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'I hope it's a taste test. There are no right or wrong answers on a taste test.'

Obese kid in nursery.

Watching health food cooking shows makes me hungry. Let's go grab some fast food.

Welcome at the Healthful Restaurant. We allow neither cholesterol, GM food, colourings, dust nor guests.

"...and here's some I made earlier..."

'The house wine sir.'

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

"Our view is if it isn't made in a factory, it's organic."

"My aged cheddar died!"

"Just accept the ticket and let's go. The hot dog's getting cold."