Foodie Humorer Pillows

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

Filet minion

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Garlic Free Zone.

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Better Not Squash.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."