Foodie Fueler T-Shirts

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

What the Doctor Ordered

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"You do like octopus?"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Fast food. Even faster food

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

La Table

Dinner at the Trapdoors

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Night of the Latkes

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Rump roast?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."