Foodie Flair Gifts

Dressing a chicken

'I sent out for everything.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

What the Doctor Ordered

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"You do like octopus?"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

Fast food. Even faster food

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

La Table

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.