Fashionable Foodie Gifts

"I make decisions as much with my gut as I fo with my brain. Let's eat."

"It's fast-casual."

Salad Hat

'Waiter - This salad isn't appropriately dressed!'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Beanirrito"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

'Hey, honey bun!'

Stand back - while I whip something up

Spanx Tells Me No

Pizza Shard

'I recommend looking down your wife's top, sir.'

Fried Egg

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

'Is it okay to drink red wine in brown shoes?'

Bob's BBQ Aprons: The Spring Collection

When I see you I turn to jelly!

"Remember... the cork. You're supposed to smell the cork!"

"It may very well be America's favorite comfort food, but nobody is gonna buy a grilled cheese poncho."

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

Pork Pie Hat

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

"I'm thinking something in a cheddar."

"Oh, for God's sake, Harold, please close your mouth when you chew your food! This is a fancy restaurant."

"I wonder if you folks are aware that black cod is this year's Chilean sea bass?"

"Why, of course I like Kale. It's the color of money."

Faddy, fussy and pernickety eating. It's strictly the preserve of those without kids.

"The free-range chicken with little shoes by Reebok."

Woman dressed as a soup can