Foodie Facing Inflation Gifts

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

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Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

'We let our products speak for themselves. This is ‘I Can't Believe It's So Tasty And Price-Friendly In Today's Demanding Market.' '

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

Lunch Broker

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

'We've had a cash machine put in.'

Speculators and Food Production

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

"He's working out what he can buy when his pay rise comes through."

'Tonight on the Gourmet Accountant - cooking the books.'

'Mrs. Gersten, I'm taking you out of trans-fatty acid stocks, and putting you into fruits and veggies'

'I thought you were supposed to spend green stuff.'

'You call yourself a full-service broker? Where are the danish and muffins?'

"It's become so expensive, that if I want sushi, I have to catch my own!"

'Before we start, would anyone like any grated cheese on their quarterly report?'

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

"It looks like you're the main stakeholder in this business."

'What an uncanny coincidence! The starter, main course, dessert and wine you've ordered are all the cheapest on the menu!'

To market.

"And remember, if you can't pronounce it, I can't afford it!"

Cooking the books al dente.

Crops and Food Prices.

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

Investments: Our commodity futures contain no high fructose corn syrup.