Foodie Facing Inflation Gifts

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Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'We let our products speak for themselves. This is ‘I Can't Believe It's So Tasty And Price-Friendly In Today's Demanding Market.' '

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

Lunch Broker

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

"He's working out what he can buy when his pay rise comes through."

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

'We've had a cash machine put in.'

Speculators and Food Production

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'Tonight on the Gourmet Accountant - cooking the books.'

'Mrs. Gersten, I'm taking you out of trans-fatty acid stocks, and putting you into fruits and veggies'

"It's become so expensive, that if I want sushi, I have to catch my own!"

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'I thought you were supposed to spend green stuff.'

'You call yourself a full-service broker? Where are the danish and muffins?'

'Before we start, would anyone like any grated cheese on their quarterly report?'

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

"It looks like you're the main stakeholder in this business."

'What an uncanny coincidence! The starter, main course, dessert and wine you've ordered are all the cheapest on the menu!'

Crops and Food Prices.

To market.

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

Cooking the books al dente.

"And remember, if you can't pronounce it, I can't afford it!"

Investments: Our commodity futures contain no high fructose corn syrup.

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