Foodie At Home Gifts

Acme Home Kebab Machine - "Oh Noreen! However did you guess?"

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Ice Cream Surgeon

What the Doctor Ordered

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"You do like octopus?"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

La Table

Hungry child

Fast food. Even faster food

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.