Family Foodie Gifts

'I lost the grocery list you gave me. So I brought home a few weeks supply of pizza.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'It's Labor Day. Mom expects you to take us out to dinner.'

'Obnoxious. screaming kids,or non-obnoxious, screaming kids.'

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli, Bless the apple pie twice.'

"Mom, 'a son who worships me' is NOT on the menu."

Doreen's Diner

"I saw a dog food commercial that asked, 'Do you feed your dog like feed your family?", and it got me thinking. . ."

"You have all the luck! I can't wait for the day when parents eat free!"

"This is fish, Mother. I don't eat brain food in the summer."

'I love eating out.'

'Just like when YOU cook or mom cooks???'

'No one else likes chocolate chip pizza!!'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

Step Mom's Diner: Under New Management.

'Hon, I'm sure you'll get used to mom's cooking after awhile...'

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"When my mother asks if you want anything to eat just say no."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"There are kids in this world who would love to have a working dinner with their parents."

"Lucky for us, mother has been stress baking lately."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

What the Doctor Ordered

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."