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Bean Counter Salad.

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Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Sheep Ledger

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'What'll it be?'

Gone Bookkeepin'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

Businessman dreaming of pie charts when he sees a pizza.

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

"Oh, that three billion dollars."

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

'Don't get your hopes up, I'm only laughing excessively...'

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

Bookkeeping Club

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

'Hang on a minute! We forgot to write down that check number in the giant register...'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

'We've always needed an accounting magician.'

No, Smith, that's NOT why they're called 'Spreadsheets'.

'Don't worry,, I checked the figures with wikopedia.'

'I know you needed a career change, Dear, but we were doing so much better when you were an accountant!'

"Oops! Sorry, I gave you the net figures not the gross figures."

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

'What, you again? And you'll want credit as usual, I suppose!'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."