Foodie Analyst T-Shirts

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"You do like octopus?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

What the Doctor Ordered

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

La Table

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

6 Brothers Falafel

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Fast food. Even faster food

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"