Food Tv Shows Pillows

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Bake off: Flan B

Michel Roux Jr

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

The Emeril Isle

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

Guy Fieri

"This is why the doc said to not binge-watch the Eating Channel!"

It's a Gordon Ramsay recipe, so if you don't ****** like it you can ******* off.

Emeril Lagasse

'Here's one I nicked earlier.'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

Mary Berry

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

'Ready, steady, Operate'

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

'Gentlemen, put your money away. When it comes to killing TV chefs, I work for free.'

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

"The recipe says, that the whipped cream has to be piped onto the sponge."

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

'Son, do you think I'm ready for my own cooking show?'

"God, I'll never eat another hot dog again after seeing how they're made!"

'It's indigestion due to your lifestyle, you're watching too many T.V. cookery shows.'