Food Tasting Pillows

Chez Pretentious Restaurant - All you can pronounce ?25.

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

"I find your ruling on the avocado-grapefruit-and-pomegranate salad overly narrow."

"Would you like to hear tonight's specials, or have you already closed yourselves to new experiences?"

"How's the squid?"

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Ok, who just gave my cooking a 1-star review on Yelp?"

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

Bagel Story

"The potato salad maintains its Aa rating this year, but I'm afraid the deviled eggs are downgraded to C."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Grass Snobs

"People don't care what they're eating as long as they're the first ones to eat it."

'Are the buffalo wings hot enough for you?'

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

A consumer guide to cheese.

'Waiter! This broth tastes spoiled!'

'I can taste the soybeans, protein pellets, rice, bran, corn and oats. It could use a little more salt.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'Food in this restaurant is rather disgusting! -I agree! And look how small the portions are!'

"I say we move on to dessert."

Food For Thought

"Well yes darling, this is food, but I for one will not eat this: it's a hot chilli..."

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

'Therapy?'

Fast Nouvelle Cuisine.

"They say the taste makes up for their lack in artful presentation."

'Would you repeat that? . . . My little brother wasn't listening.'

What keeps me at my best is the feeling that anyone of them might be a restaurant critic.

"You know Grandma, I can't remember the last time I had my appetite spoiled."

Conveyor belt sushi

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"