Food Tasting Gifts

Chez Pretentious Restaurant - All you can pronounce ?25.

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"I find your ruling on the avocado-grapefruit-and-pomegranate salad overly narrow."

"Ok, who just gave my cooking a 1-star review on Yelp?"

"Would you like to hear tonight's specials, or have you already closed yourselves to new experiences?"

"How's the squid?"

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

Bagel Story

Grass Snobs

"The potato salad maintains its Aa rating this year, but I'm afraid the deviled eggs are downgraded to C."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

A consumer guide to cheese.

"People don't care what they're eating as long as they're the first ones to eat it."

'Waiter! This broth tastes spoiled!'

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'Are the buffalo wings hot enough for you?'

"...And the humus is that good?!!"

Booger Berry icecream

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

What keeps me at my best is the feeling that anyone of them might be a restaurant critic.

"I say we move on to dessert."

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

"Just when you think nothing could be worse than broccoli, they hit you with sauerkraut!"

Hot Pepper Research: 'EUREKA!'

"You should post about it."

"You've passed me three times already. This is your last chance, buster, or I'm sending you straight to bed without your free samples."

"You know Grandma, I can't remember the last time I had my appetite spoiled."

'We also sell water for $200 a glass.'

'Mm...diabolical!'

"Vindaloo hot enough for sir?"

'Therapy?'

'Not good news, I'm afraid!'