Food Service Antics Pillows

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Rump roast?"

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

Chef copy robot

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

''Catch of the day' is anyone who tries to leave without paying.'

"Nah, he doesn't need the Heimlich. I just don't like his tip."

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

"Hello, my name is Tony. I'm your waiter, and I'll be dining with you tonight."

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

'Your resume says that you were previously a waiter. Can I assume that you're comfortable taking orders?'

'I'll have what he's having.'

"And how would you like your steak?" "Cremated."

Go large or go home!

'Could you hurry up on that order for table five? -- they're holding the maitre d' hostage.'

"Have you considered working the lunch shift?"

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."