Food Safety Manager Pillows

Mash-test Dummies.

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Kitchen Kapers

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Honest Vending

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Your lobster was off!

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Please don't kill me."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"I'm going in."

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"The penicillin looks good."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

Frankenfish

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research