Food Manager Pillows

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Benihana style of cooking.

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"I come here for the pepper."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."