Food Joke Fan Gifts

"Excuse me - do these chickens get any bigger?"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Filet minion

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Bangers and Mash

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Lockdown casserole

Better Not Squash.

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

'YAY! PATE!'

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

Murderous Chef

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'He's cured.'

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

'So this is a kitchen!'

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

'They're not hot - my mom said they were 'chilly peppers'?'

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

"You're losing your everything."

"Say hello to my little friend!"

Waiter, why are there TWO flies in my soup? The second fly is the first fly's attorney.

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

Be aware of what your food is up to: protect yourself against snack attacks.

Suicidal Sheep: '101 Ways with Mint Sauce.'