Food Hygienist Gifts

'Yes, this is a clean bucket!'

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

GMOs: The Next Generation

Whack-a-molecule

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Chef copy robot

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"I don't think you're genetically modifying these foods at all. I think you're just putting googly eyes on fruit."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

'It's amazing what they can do with amino acids these days.'

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

Seasonal workers in the restaurant trade: 'Salt...pepper'.

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

Artificial Isle

"I 3-D printed my dinner!"

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

Conversion of food products to petroleum substitutes - Conversion of petroleum products to food substitutes.

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."