Food Funny Gifts

"Dig your garden? Sure... can you cook chateaubriand?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"States of tofu"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Filet minion

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Lockdown casserole

Garlic Free Zone.

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

Deliboys

Cat eats date.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Better Not Squash.

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'