Food Fancy Pillows

'We let our products speak for themselves. This is ‘I Can't Believe It's So Tasty And Price-Friendly In Today's Demanding Market.' '

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Counting ribs

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Is the garbage fresh?"

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'I would kill for a truffle.'

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

Trampoline Balance

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

Cutlery store: Big Sale! Everything slashed!

All You Can Eat

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

"That banquet was most delicious, and yet now, somehow, once again I feel the pang of hunger.'

Waiting staff

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

"I'll repeat the question! Does this axe belong to you?"

'I went home the other day and smelt a delicious meal cooking in the kitchen... then I realized I'd gone to the wrong house!'

'Decisions, decisions!'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

Capturing a Cook

A waiter warning the cook about certain customers

"If they don't like the food, try to explain to them how hard it is to cook really good food."

Champagne speaking to lobster about going to the Derby

An Autobahn in the form of a farm barn.