Food Fancier Pillows

"What's your surf and turf today?"

Counting ribs

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Needs salt!'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Harsh Mellows.

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Kitchen Kapers

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Ice Cream Dreams.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Benihana style of cooking.

Important Food Groups

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

The Streets - Night

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Burnt or Raw?

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Regular service or affected?"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."