Food Faddists Gifts

"I don't really need to avoid gluten, but I feel it's a popular concern with broad appeal we can all share."

Counting ribs

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Benihana style of cooking.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Kitchen Kapers

Important Food Groups

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

The Streets - Night

Burnt or Raw?

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

This Year's Spa

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Is the garbage fresh?"

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

Will work for Food Network.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"More croutons, sir?"