Food Ethicists Gifts

Pate Foie Gras - Locally forced.

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

View to the Future

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"