Food Ethicist Gifts

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"