Ethical Eating Advocates Gifts

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

Desert Island Meals.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Queen of Quinoa

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

Another reason farm raised fish aren't as healthy as wild ones.

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

"Is it free-range?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'