Food Ennui Gifts

"You know, I really, really, don't like ethnic restaurants."

"Please don't kill me."

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

"I don't like the food here, but the photos I paot make my friends envious."

'And the winner for best supporting animal in a frozen ready meal goes to...'

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

"Keep it open."

Another Bloody Cookery Show

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

Brian was glad he had decided to have a light breakfast before embarking on the pizza eating competition!

"But how do you know my sprouts aren't contaminated with novichok?"

"For what we are about to receive, let it not contain any mad cow disease..."

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'

"I'm one of those fortunate people that can ear what they like."

Man on diet fealing guilty

"Good news is we won a trip. bad news is that it's a trip to France."

Cook struggles to open sauce jar.

"Is there a term for that uncomfortable feeling after you've eaten too much comfort food?"

She's just discovered her IBS isn't caused by chocolate!

Stand Up Buffet - Haemorrhoid Association.