Food Ennui Gifts

"You know, I really, really, don't like ethnic restaurants."

"Please don't kill me."

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

"I don't like the food here, but the photos I paot make my friends envious."

'And the winner for best supporting animal in a frozen ready meal goes to...'

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

"Keep it open."

Another Bloody Cookery Show

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

Please, one big slice of blueberry pie. i need it. I've worked 10 hours today with no break. The slightest thing could set me off. The slightest, slightest thing. In the scheme of things, being out of pie is less than slight. Commence weeping.

Brian was glad he had decided to have a light breakfast before embarking on the pizza eating competition!

"But how do you know my sprouts aren't contaminated with novichok?"

"For what we are about to receive, let it not contain any mad cow disease..."

She'll only eat it if I cut off the crust.

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'

"I'm one of those fortunate people that can ear what they like."

Man on diet fealing guilty

"Good news is we won a trip. bad news is that it's a trip to France."

Counting sheep never worked for Al, as it only made him hungry.

Cook struggles to open sauce jar.

"Is there a term for that uncomfortable feeling after you've eaten too much comfort food?"

She's just discovered her IBS isn't caused by chocolate!

Stand Up Buffet - Haemorrhoid Association.