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"Dear God, noooooo oooo!" "The Oreo tragedy"

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'Romano, Romano, wherefore art thou Romano?'

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."

"How was the food sir?"

'Quit chewing tobacco? But that's the only source of fiber I get.'

Woman on scales.

"How's everything?"

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"I knew it was a mistake to order our wedding cake from your ex-husband's bakery!"

"Quick! Tiptoe out and phone the Fire Service!"

'I don't want a free coffee, I want that chef out of the country!'

"Places, everybody!"

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

'Can you send this back to the kitchen. It's cold.'

"I knew it."

'You did ask for the wine steward - now grovel, man, grovel!'

'I'll have the Pollack salad, and a glass of house wine.'

Fly at the tennis club cafe.

'You've been on a diet and lost six kilos...Well I think I have found them!'

Shame on You.

"Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art my pizza, Romeo?"

'Oh,do grow up - dinner wasn't that late.'

'It's a blackmail note - Someone saw me going into that Fish-and-Chip shop!'

A gentleman and his butler in a dining room.